I'd like to post a picture with this post. Really, I would. I'd like to show you a new project or painting or something. Even a doodle. But, this morning I decided to release myself from guilt! I've been trying for months to get some artwork done. I set up babysitting hours. I cleaned up my studio. I got new supplies. But, have I made anything? Nope. So, now not only am I not doing artwork, I'm also not hanging out with my kids (I mean, aside from the 1000 hours a week that I don't have a sitter). Finally, this morning, it dawned on me. I'm not ready. I'm just not ready. I'm a stay-at-home mom. For that, I am ready. But, that PLUS artwork/projects/etc? Nope. Not ready. And, that is okay.
I think that somehow I needed to think I could do other stuff in order to feel okay about being at home. But, really, I am happy to be at home with my kids. And, there will be lots of time for me to do artwork, or other work, later. When they are older. Right now, with Theo at 3 and Eli at 15 months, I am happy and lucky to be able to stay home. So, instead of feeling guilty everyday for not doing more, I am going to try to feel like a day full of meals and snacks and naps and parks and walks and diapers and laundry and cleaning and music and books is enough. And, when I do have a sitter, I am going to feel okay about exercising or paying bills or getting a cup of hot chocolate or going to the movies by myself.
Yes I will.
And, if I want to paint or draw or even doodle, that's just a bonus.
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